GLS Ireland: Field Report from Observer 7G-Q
Transmission to Galactic Commerce Authority, Sector 7G:
I have completed my observation of Earth logistics protocols and must report: your intelligence was incorrect. These humans have not mastered faster-than-light travel. They have not cured mortality. They have, however, constructed something far more perplexing—a delivery system where packages achieve quantum superposition without technological assistance.
My assigned subject entered the GLS network six weeks ago. Tracking data indicates "delivered" to coordinates I personally verified. Yet visual surveillance shows only empty doorway, silent doorbell, undisturbed atmosphere. The package exists in state of simultaneous delivery and non-delivery. Schrödinger would weep with recognition.
I attempted contact with GLS command using their "customer service frequency." Twenty-five entities ahead in queue. Transmission terminated without resolution. Repeated attempts produced identical result. I suspect infinite loop in their communication matrix, or deliberate avoidance behavior common in primitive bureaucracies.
Physical approach to depot during listed operational hours revealed locked structure, empty bays, other humans milling in confusion. Their "open" status appears to exist in parallel dimension inaccessible to three-dimensional observers.
Most disturbing finding: drivers require zero proof of completion. No signature, no photographic evidence, no witness verification. Simply button press and instantaneous fiction entry. Humans tolerate this. They pay for this. They return to this system repeatedly despite documented failures.
Recommendation: Quarantine sector 7G from interstellar trade until species develops basic accountability protocols. Their packages may eventually evolve sentience and deliver themselves. Until then, avoid.
Observer 7G-Q, signing off.
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