Institutionalised abuse, corruption, and the old boys network still exists. As a victim of horrendous discrimination, bullying and inequitable treatment in the workplace, I hoped that someone would listen. But, I was made a mockery of. I had no chance representing myself. A lone, older, disabled woman with hidden and visible disabilities.My truth, my experience, my pain, my torture, was of no consequence. Faux concern, faux pretence at listening, perhaps as they laughed inside. Two men, one woman, male solicitor for the Respondent and a male Respondent. I might as well have been invisible. The fact that despite everything, I was able to be articulate and eloquent, probably did not play in my favour. Being a woman of colour, also another fail. How dare I speak eloquently. Surely I am paranoid? Surely my male torturer was only doing his job? The dehumanisation of black and brown women is just as prevalent as the adultification of black and brown girls. We are deemed less worthy of sympathy, empathy, understanding. We can be abused, lied about, insulted, demeaned, and it will be felt that we can handle it. I feel so sick. Having suffered a life of abuse. I fought hard to live and even in my old age, I am still being abused, being disbelieved, laughed at, insulted, degraded, and all is OK because my torturer too, was black, but with power and money behind him. I am poor so I must just be after money. I disclosed medical evidence that is so personal. But, this was disregarded and I was considered to be a liar. I can't cope with that thought. It hurts so much. It hurts too much, but then I'm a black woman, old, disabled, poor, unworthy of recognition, unworthy of sympathy, or care. I wish I was as good an actor as those who judged me useless and unworthy of belief.The system of Justice in this godforsaken country is skewed toward those who are powerful, and have unlimited wealth. The public sector organisations, especially. A lone woman, with only the truth, has two chances of success at an employment tribunal, when not represented - fat chance and no chance. Perhaps some have been successful but I expect they will be the minority and I applaud them. Daring to live black or brown, and daring to think you'd be listened to, is a pipe dream.The wickedness of human beings who can exploit, lie with impunity and be believed is something I shall never get over. To be considered a liar when you provide as much evidence as you can, to support your claims is horrendous. Despite being very unwell, I tried so hard. Had I known it would not matter and I'd be adjudicated a LIAR, I would not have put myself through the torture and believe me, it was torturous. I feel embarrassed, ashamed, destroyed.Our justice system is a joke. No wonder there is so much corruption in public organisations. I was considered a liar, my lived experience of ABUSE was considered acceptable and deserved. Disclosing any type of psychological abuse will ensure you are considered to be paranoid. Being poor means you'll be considered to be only after money. Having people lie about me and be believed is soul-destroying. I wish I could have changed colour for a day. I wish I could have dumbed myself down for a day. I wish I could have changed gender for a day. I would perhaps have had more of a chance to be believed.Please everyone, try to find representation if you take unscrupulous employers to an employment tribunal. You need to be coached. I told the truth. I was not believed. I was manipulated by the Respondent. They surely made a fool of me. I will keep fighting because I will expose the institutional abuse, discrimination, and exploitation, inherent in all public sector organisations and indeed the judicial system in this supposed Great Britain.
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