I sat at my desk with a scholarly mood, To search for a recipe regarding "Healthy Food." I typed in the words, hit ENTERwith glee, But the Smoothwall Red Screen was waiting for me!I’m staring at my laptop with my jaw on the floor, I’ve never seen a digital "No" quite so hardcore. I’m home on my couch, in my own living room, But Smoothwall is here, like a harbinger of doom.GASP! I fell back! I clutched at my chest! It blocked "Salad Recipes" as a Dangerous Quest! "Categories: HACKINGand WEAPONS OF DOOM!" (It was just a picture of a single mushroom?!)I thought, "Okay, fine. I’ll do Math instead." I searched for "Triangles." The screen flashed RED. I shrieked in sheer terror! My eyes went wide! "GEOMETRY IS VIOLENCE!" the Smoothwall replied. "Too pointy! Too sharp! It’s a risk to the youth! We’ve blocked all the numbers to protect you from truth!"I tried to use Google. I tried to use Bing. I tried to search "How to do a very nice thing." I fell to my knees. I shrieked at the sun please mighty filter i just want some fun but the sun turned red with a giant red X. Blocked for: "AGGRESSIVE COSMIC REFLEX!I’m sweating! I’m shaking! I’m pacing the floor! I tried to open a PDF on the Civil War. Smoothwall appeared like a ghost in the night, Screaming, "ACCESS DENIED! TOO MUCH BLACK AND WHITE!"I opened a tab that was totally blank, Just to be safe, just to be frank. But Smoothwall was watching! It knew what I’d done! It blocked the blank page for "Having Too Much Fun." I ran to the mirror to check my own face, To make sure I still existed in time and in space. But the glass turned to static! A giant red square! My reflection was gone! There was nothing in there!Just a text box that hovered in front of my nose, That delivered the final, most lethal of blows: USER BLOCKED.Reason: Your face looks suspicious. Duration: Forever. Notes: And vicious.My heart skipped a beat as I clutched at my chest,Blocked for "EXCESSIVE INTERNAL UNREST!"I’m vaporized! Ghosted! Permanently deleted!The firewall has won! I am utterly defeated!I’d cry you a river, I’d weep and I’d moan, But TEARS ARE RESTRICTED IN THIS TIME ZONE!So I’m writing this review with a pencil and pad, Because it’s the only connection that I’ve ever had.
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Since 2001, Smoothwall has provided world-class internet security and content filtering solutions to protect and empower millions of users worldwide. By allowing filtering, monitoring and reporting on actual web content and activity, Smoothwall enables school administrators to protect their students online.